25/01/19
How on earth did I get here?
This is another question I found myself asking sometimes and especially when I was feeling low. Why did this happen? Would things be different if that didn’t happen? Will I ever get over that? How did I get here? Where should I be?
I think these are questions we all ask ourselves because we really have no clue what we are doing at times! Sometimes I look back on things that happened to me in the past, and I think; if that didn’t happen where would I be? Who would I be? What would life be like? It’s so easy to dwell on these kinds of questions but it’s the past, there is no changing it, only moving forward.
How on earth did I get here? How on EARTH? Yes, earth, this beautiful big ass rock we call home. It is so important to remember that we are all part of this earth and the earth only moves in one direction as do we. Sometimes we get so clouded by what we think our life should be like by now that we forget to keep living! We are animals on this planet just like any other and we are meant to keep moving!
Do you think a lion stops to wonder if he made the right choice by eating that last meal? Or by leaving his home in search of greener grass? A lion will deal with the situation it finds itself in because that is all it knows to do. Basic survival instinct. I think we can learn from that - no point dwelling on the what-ifs, just get moving and keep on fighting for what you want.
I am not religious at all. I don’t have a faith. I don’t pray. But I do believe in the universe. This may sound odd to some, but I do believe in something, I’m just not sure how to explain it. I believe the universe works in some very odd ways, ways in which I can't even begin to understand, and I have had some right royal shit thrown at me in my 29 years on this earth, as have so many others, if I hadn’t would I be who I am, where I am, with the perfect guy in my happy home in the north of England? No probably not. Who knows how things could have been.
It is hard to see when you are the middle of that shit storm that things will work out, but you will find your feet again and you will be happy again, just don’t give up. Don’t give up on the universe. The world will keep spinning and the time will keep on ticking and you can both step in line and walk with the earth or you can hide away from it all and stay still, which in itself is completely unnatural.
I still get haunted by things from the past, I still dream about it and sometimes I wake up feeling like I am right back there and it takes a few moments to gather my thoughts again and shake it off; remembering where I am now, how I overcame my demons and how I have gained both knowledge and power from such a conquer.
So really, the question of how did I get here, should be a positive question! Like, how on earth am I here!? I got through all of that and I’m standing stronger than ever. That is truly remarkable. One step at a time I got here, and I thank the universe for the wonderful family and friends that have touched my life in ways they can’t imagine. If I didn’t go through shit, I wouldn’t have all the amazing people in my life that I do now.
So, would I do it all again?
I guess I would.
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